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A young lady whom I have known for a very long time confided in me with some frustrations she was feeling. Her husband's former female, married coworker reaches out to him consistently to let him know she cares about him, is thinking of him, or asks for prayer when she is going through a hard time. She wondered what my thoughts were on this, and since I have seen this topic come up time and time again with acquaintances I thought I would share it here as well.
I personally seek out my husband for emotional support, advice, and prayers. If I need direction, prayers, or support my husband is my first go-to. If for any reason I need an outside perspective, I go to a close female friend for advice or prayer. I cannot tell you the last time if ever I reached out to someone else's husband for prayer or support. It just isn't in my chain of support system.
I think we have to be careful about who we open the doors of our heart to. When we need guidance and emotional support, even if innocent in the beginning, it can be dangerous territory to go to someone else's spouse for it.
I remember many years ago, my husband had a young, single female coworker who would come to his office and write encouraging scriptures on his white board. I remember being a young 20 something wife saying to myself, "Um, if my husband needs spiritual encouragement his wife can give it to him thank you very much!" Ha! :) But really, I would never take it upon myself to engage in trying to spiritually mentor or counsel someone of the opposite sex - especially when we are both married.
If you have been married for some time, you know that there are mountains in your marriage and those mountains are glorious! But you also know there are valleys. And there will be valleys in others' marriages as well. Even if you have the best intentions in the world, you could really be playing with the emotions of someone going through a lonely time in their marriage without even realizing it.
There was one time years ago that I was going through a very lonely time in my marriage. My husband and I were so distant and disconnected. I remember pulling through a drive through and the cashier (who was quite a bit older and not attractive to me) showed me personal concern and care for a few minutes. I drove away and cried because it felt so good to have that kind of attention given to me.
Thank goodness this wasn't someone close to my age, somewhat attractive, and I didn't interact with on a regular basis. I could have been tempted to receive the attention, spiritual upliftings, and affirmations that were really more appropriate to receive from my husband.
So in short... No, I will not go to another woman's husband for spiritual advice, support, or guidance. I will go to mine! If I need more than what my husband is able to give me, I will not go to another woman's husband for what I need. I will go to a close female friend for prayer and encouragement. I do not text or email other women's husbands to let them know I'm thinking of them nor do I reach out to privately affirm another woman's husband. My marriage is sacred and I believe other women's marriages are as well!
Proverbs 5:15
Drink water from your own well— share your love only with your wife.
Father God, please help me honor my spouse by seeking him first for emotional and spiritual support. If I need more, please show me strong believers of my same gender that I can go to for counsel. Even when I have no ill intentions, I don't want to overstep into others' marriages. My love is reserved for my spouse. Prayers and emotional support are coveted from my spouse not other women's husbands. Please help me to not lean on opposite sex acquaintances for affirmation or upliftings that are better received from my own spouse.