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Our relationship with God mirrors our relationship with our spouse in so many ways. In the beginning, we start out with infatuation and excitement about how wonderful it is. When we first give our life to God, it is a thrilling time walking in all the new goodness of God. When we first start dating, we are giddy as we think of all the wonderful aspects of our beau. We love the way he makes us feel, the things he does for us, and all the wonderful things he tells us.
Should these first stages even be called love? It’s more excitement about all the possibilities of what you will add to my life. You make me feel so good! You make me smile! You make me happy. We enjoy them and say we love them because they just bring so much joy to our life.
Is it impressive that I “love” you because you are so good to me? Is it impressive that I want to shower you with kindness because of how nice you are to me? Is it “love” that makes me want to spend time with you because I’ve never seen your negative traits or had you disrespect me in any way? If all of this is love, then it seems like a very surface, self-seeking kind of love.
Would it be more powerful that I am totally given to you alone when my emotions are pulling me toward you anyway, or that I am totally given to you even when things are so much harder than I thought they would be?
If love is really the powerful force we all know that it is, if God Himself is love, then shouldn’t love wow us? Would I be wowed by someone skipping along toward me on a beautiful day? Probably not. Would I be wowed by someone treking through a torrential storm to reach me? Yes I would be – because the latter takes determination and strength.
I have always felt that a synonym for love is commitment. We have a very self-seeking world today. If you make me happy – I’m committed to you. If you are not giving me what I need – you’re no longer my concern. In our relationship with God, are we still as committed to Him when life throws us every curve ball imaginable? If our commitment is not based on Him doing everything for us that we think we need, then I would say yes we love Him. Are we still committed to our spouse even when we get to see an up close and personal view of how broken they are? If our commitment is not based on what they do for us, but on what we promised to do for them, then I would say yes we love them.
Hosea 6:6
For I desire and delight in dutiful steadfast love and goodness, not sacrifice, and the knowledge of and acquaintance with God more than burnt offerings.
God shows us in His Word what the better kind of love is. It is a dutiful steadfast love, proven over time. Would it mean more to me to have a guy be fleetingly infatuated with me because of his skewed view of my perfection? Or would it mean more to have someone show me steadfast, constant love through all my hard times and ups and downs? One is weak and one is strong. One is superficial and one is deep.
Hollywood has lied to us about what love looks like. Our teenage dreams have lied to us about what love looks like. I didn’t care about God at all. I lived for myself and completely turned away from Him. You know what He did to me as a result? He died for me. He was determined to love me when I didn’t even know how or want to love Him. He was not self-seeking, He was seeking a way to show me His goodness.
Jesus is our perfect example of what love looks like. It’s not always easy. It’s not always pretty. And, yes, sometimes it costs us. But it is powerful, it can never fail, and when we see it in person, it wows us.
Father God, true love is being committed to someone no matter what our emotions tell us. True love knows the duties required of it, and gives it. True love is steadfast and constant. Please help me be consistent in my love and commitment to You and my spouse. Please help me not focus on what I’ve given up for my family, but please help me focus on how I can continue to show goodness to my spouse no matter what’s going on around me. Please give me the strength to not be swayed by my circumstances. You showed me steadfast love. You knew what was required of You to love me in my mess, and You did it. Please help me in turn show that kind of love to my spouse.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.