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My family drives by beautifully decorated houses each Christmas as we admire all the lights so stunningly strewn over bushes, trees, house trims, and lawns. Each year we decide upon seeing how wonderful the other decorated homes look that we will deck out our home the following year. The next year comes and we end up putting it off and re-decide every year that we will have lights up the elusive following year. However, this year was our year! Well… sort of.
We knew we were about to get a busy holiday schedule, I mean crazy busy! We had a few hours free over two mornings and determined those would be our mornings to adorn our house. I hate to admit that in those few hours, we got 2 ½ bushes decorated with lights and ¾ of the trim above our garage lined. That’s it. Our schedule took off and our hopes of a beautifully lit home was left in the dust.
As we pulled in and out of our cul-de-sac, we would see our neighbors out decorating their homes for hours upon hours and days upon days. They were constantly out there adding to and putting in the blood sweat and tears that never quite reached our house. As the evenings came during the holiday season, they had a gorgeous light display and we had a few wimpy lit up bushes.
It wasn’t that we didn’t want a strikingly decorated home. We did, we really wanted it! It wasn’t that we didn’t have the resources because they were all there within our reach. Our biggest mistake in not capturing what our neighbors attained is that we underestimated the effort it would take to get what they had. We thought we could have a mountain of beauty while only allotting a hill of effort.
I couldn’t help but think that we do this in our everyday lives. We see a strong family and we admire the beauty of it. We want what they have and we think we could have it, too. We many times resolve for things to be better this year. Our biggest challenge in attaining a better marriage and a more healthy family is not our lack of want, it is in us underestimating the effort it takes to get it.
We would never see an incredible athlete and think it was just meant to be that he was so good. No, we imagine the hours and hours of practice, training, and drills he goes through on a weekly basis to be so good at what he does. Why would we ever see a good marriage and think they just magically arrived where they’re at? We won’t get a better marriage and family by wishing. It’s going to take time, effort, and energy.
It’s amazing that we will put in hours and hours of studying, homework, and test prep to obtain a college degree, but how many of us will never pick up a book and study how to become a better spouse or parent? We will spend hours a week playing on our favorite phone app, watching sporting events, or reality TV shows, but not make the effort to spend focused time on our family members. We will even put in extra effort to find ways to please our boss and make sure they have everything they need, but we won’t spend a few minutes thinking of creative ways to please our spouse and give them something we know they need or want.
Of course we all want an improved marriage and family, but what is going to determine if we actually have a grand light display in our marriage or end up with measly lit families is the amount of effort we put into it this year. I am determined to find ways to study how to become a better spouse and parent. I am resolved to make time to focus intently on my family members. I am setting aside time each day to build up my relationship with God so that I can be who I need to be for my family. I will not underestimate the effort needed to have the picturesque marriage and family I so deeply desire.
Father God, thank You for helping me see that if I want something I will not get it by wishing and hoping. I am going to have to put in the time and effort to receive the desired harvest. My spouse is worth the time and effort it takes to win them over again and again. My children are worth the time and effort it takes to help them grow into all You have called them to be. You are worth setting time aside for each day. Please open my eyes to see that there is nothing more valuable to spend my time and energy on than these things.