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I once again got to be a part of witnessing a new life being brought into the world this past week. It is amazing to see the strength of a woman bringing forth a new eternal being. It is one thing to go through birthing a baby yourself, but you get such a different perspective seeing another woman give birth. As I watched this beautiful young woman deliver her baby, I imagined what it must be like for a husband to witness his wife go through all that she does to make him a father.
I saw how much pain she had to manage with every contraction. As time went on, the intensity of it only became greater. There was no checking out for her. There was no time-out or break time. Just continual pain. She had to breathe through every contraction and stay focused the entire time. She was like a champion… pressing on until she received her prize.
As it came time to birth the baby, there was no turning back for her. There was no giving up. A moment that was so fun 9 months ago, manifested itself into a deep groaning that only a mother can understand. This idea, this future hope, was now about to become a tangible gift to be held and admired. But it took pain. It took tears. It took a perseverance that no words can describe.
This is what she went through that made her husband a father. All of the travail was not just for personal gain but to open the heavens for her husband to receive his greatest treasure from a God who loves him. His wife was his messenger - telling of God’s great plan for him as not just a father, but of who a man truly is.
The story doesn’t end there, because the woman is forever changed. She is no longer her own. She is the tender to her husband’s flock. She takes on the task of providing life-sustaining substance all the while trying to heal from the amazing feat her body just accomplished. Her body is forever altered, showing the signs of the battle she just won. Always being reminded that her body was sacrificed on the altar of parenthood. Sacrificed for her husband.
I know this touches every husband who witnesses it. I see it in their eyes. The way they look at the wife – like she is the most amazing human being on the planet. Respecting her and honoring her for all that she’s done for him. I hear it in the way they tell their friends and family how amazing she is. How proud of her he is… how he will forever remember what she did.
But my profoundly sad revelation is that he doesn’t. He doesn’t remember. Not always. Sometimes he forgets. Time can be a true healer of pain, but it can also be a numbing device for once passionate feelings. Sometimes time can be an enemy of the honor a spouse deserves. As time goes on, unfortunately many a husband has forgotten.
He has forgotten how beautiful she was as she cried through the pain. He has forgotten about every contraction that multiplied and intensified as each hour passed. He has forgotten about her strength in the middle of her weakness as she delivered her child to him. And he has forgotten about the sacrifice of her body, time, and desires to give him the gift of being a father.
Mundane tasks take the place of the passion he once felt over her accomplishment and the honor fades away. He sees what she hasn’t done more than what she has done. He starts thinking his wife just isn’t enough for him anymore. All that she has done just isn’t quite enough for his lofty impressions of himself. And so my plea for a husband who finds himself in this place is: Please remember.
If she never did anything else of grand proportions, hasn’t she done enough? Wasn’t her magnificent display of love for you through the birth and raising of your children enough? Wasn’t her payment for your pleasure enough for you? Please remember. Please honor her, respect her, and praise her for the treasure she is. She has given you more than any fleeting promise of more could ever give you, and for that please remember. Remember when you are with her, remember when you are alone, and remember when an offer threatens to make your wife ever feel like she’s not enough for you. Please remember…