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I remember being at a friend’s house while our toddlers played together. Toddlers playing together can be cute and scary at the same time. Sure enough, my son got into a little fight with the girl and I had to address it. I took him out of the room and said, “We don’t hurt our friends. You have to go to time-out”. I set the timer and put him in his place. He started to resist, but as he saw me go to the kitchen and get a spoon, he stayed put the entire time. When the timer went off, I reiterated that we don’t hurt our friends and gave him a hug. The rest of the time was so peaceful. I remember thinking: It works!
What worked was that I had been handling disobedience the same way at home and when we got out in public, my son understood exactly how to get back on track.
In a society today that tries to make out any parent who uses physical discipline to correct their child a monster, it can make a mom question whether she should use it or not. I will say that hitting anyone out of anger is not okay. But a person in authority over a child, who uses structured physical discipline in a calm manner is a different story.
Proverbs 19:18 - Discipline your son while there is hope, but do not [indulge your angry resentments by undue chastisements and] set yourself to his ruin.
We have to start disciplining our children while they are young. However, we can never discipline out of our anger at our child. That is when is becomes destructive. If you feel hot and angry while you are doing the discipline, there is almost a 100 percent chance that it will not be effective in the long run. You can go through the exact same motions of discipline, but this time out of spirit of love and authority, and your results can not even be compared :-).
Proverbs 20:30
Physical punishment cleanses away evil, and strokes [for correction] reach to the innermost parts (purifies the heart).
Physical correction reaches to the hearts of our children. Disrespectful or defiant behavior when left unattended can corrupt a child’s heart into adulthood. Physical correction can cleanse defiance from our children’s hearts.
Proverbs 22:15
A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away.
Proverbs 13:24
Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.
I don’t think we use physical discipline for any and every disobedient behavior. The requirements I personally use are: 1. Is it defiant? 2. Is it disrespectful to authority? 3. Is it a repeated disobedient behavior?
Taking the time to discipline our children is sometimes inconvenient, but consistent and loving correction raises children that are wise and have beautiful hearts.
2 Corinthians 4:17
For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!
Father God, thank You for giving me wisdom in Your Word that long outlasts society’s ideas that change from generation to generation. Please show me how I can use physical discipline in a loving and effective way for my children. Please help me to never discipline my children out of my anger against them.