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2 Corinthians 2:5-8
I am not overstating it when I say that the man who caused all the trouble hurt all of you more than he hurt me. 6 Most of you opposed him, and that was punishment enough. 7 Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him. Otherwise he may be overcome by discouragement. 8 So I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him.
Some people in our lives have the power to hurt us way more than they could anyone else. They are usually people who are close to us, that have entered into deep parts of our hearts, and so have the access to cause us more pain than they would anyone else. It would not be an understatement to say that you have experienced more pain at the hand of this person than others could understand.
When we have been severely hurt by someone close to us, we of course naturally oppose them. We resist them, we disapprove of them, and we understandably try to prevent them from the same close access to our heart as they had before. It’s natural to try to protect ourselves from getting hurt again. But, if we’re not careful, we can also oppose someone who has truly repented so as to punish them for the hurt they caused us.
The verse above says: Okay, you’ve opposed them. You’ve withdrawn from them, you’ve let them know in many different ways how much you disapprove of them, and you have prevented them from being able to feel close to you again. All of that is completely understandable. You’re not being judged for that – your pain was and is great. But then it says: However, it is time to forgive and comfort him.
Hold on! I was okay when the Bible said to forgive. I can just mutter to myself that yes I forgive him and go on with my life. But why did the Bible have to attach that second part to the statement?? And comfort him? Really. I am being directed to not only forgive but to show that forgiveness by comforting the very person that caused all of this hurt to me? Why would the Bible tell me to do that? Why is that such a difficult concept to wrap my mind around?
I believe it may be because our idea of forgiveness is a little skewed. I always hear people say to forgive others not for them but for yourself. It’s not about them, it’s about you being free. I of course agree with this.. to a certain extent. But if the forgiveness God showed me is my example of how I should forgive others, isn’t making forgiveness about benefitting myself kind of selfish? I don’t think God forgave me for His own benefit, I think He did it for me. Now we do benefit from forgiveness, but maybe we don’t benefit in the fullness of it until we make it not about us. Perhaps freeing someone else from our unforgiveness for their well-being is the only way we can experience the true freedom we need for ourselves. In essence, when we do it for ourselves, we still are not fully free. When we do it for someone else, we end up experiencing more life than if we had done it for ourselves.
2 Corinthians 4:9-10
We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.
Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
I had to forgive severe offenses against me recently. I can tell you it is a process that I have had to be determined in, and allow the Holy Spirit to continue to work through me daily in. Some days the pain is so great that my mind tells me to go back on how God has shown me to handle it. But Jesus forgave me, and He didn’t go back on it. Not only that, but my sins caused Him to suffer and He didn’t show me resentment for it. He knew that I needed to know His great love for me so that I could walk in the freedom to love Him. I hurt Him and He comforted…me. The very one who turned my back on Him and treated Him like dirt in my world.
He didn’t want me to be overcome by the discouragement that I was too dirty to love. He didn’t want me to be overcome by guilt and shame that would ultimately keep me from coming to Him. He has continually reaffirmed His love for me in spite of all the many offenses I have piled up against Him. And that’s what the Bible is showing me to do for someone else. For that person or people who hurt me way more than they have anyone else, I am urged to forgive by comforting them with the knowledge that I still love them because God still loves them and doesn’t want anything preventing them from coming close to Him. I don’t want to be the discouragement that makes it hard for them to have a close relationship with God.
To retaliate in kind would do nothing but intensify the existence of hate… Along the way of life, someone must have sense enough, and morality enough, to cut off the chain of hate.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
Jesus, thank You for allowing me to share in a small way with the kind of suffering You experienced for me and for so many others. Thank You that it didn’t end with Your suffering, though. Thank You for being the Resurrection, which allows us all to rise up from the death we experienced to beat what came against us and live life again. Please help me to forgive like You forgive. Please help me to remember that others’ relationship with You is way more important than any pain caused against me.