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I remember being about 5 years old and watching the movie Jesus of Nazareth. I’m sure it was not a hugely budgeted film, but they did their job in conveying the message of who Jesus was to this little girl. I was so moved by the crucifixion scene that I prayed to ask Jesus into my heart with my mom upon the conclusion of the movie. I remember saying to her, “Jesus must have loved me a whole lot to do that for me.” I was so filled with His love for me that from that point on my heart was filled with a love for Him.
I had a little miniature Bible in my room during that time. In the part of the Bible that described Jesus’s death, there was a page with a drawing of Him hanging on the cross. I remember that with my best little girl handwriting I wrote on the page with the picture: I love you Jesus.
From the very beginning of my life, Jesus was my first love. Of course, in the years to come my life took turns that I never expected. People that should have been better to me gave me baggage to carry into adulthood that I would have to unload year by year by the grace of God. I got married, had children, and created a family and life of my own. I had ideas when I was a child of how perfect my family would be one day and I must admit it has been a far cry from perfection.
Here’s what I’ve come to understand, though. My love for Jesus has only grown stronger the longer I’ve known Him and the more I’ve lived with His presence in my life. As much as I love my husband, and even though he is the love of my life, he is not my first love. As much as I love my children, and my world revolves around them, they are not my first love. My first love goes way back to me being 5 years old and being consumed with the most beautiful man who ever lived loving me like no one else ever would or ever could.
The more I’ve embraced Jesus’s love for me, the more securely I live and walk out this life. My husband will not give me everything I need. He may hurt me or disappoint me, but my world is not shattered. I’m not dependent upon his love for me because I have a much greater Love sustaining me.
My children may not always live up to my expectations and they may not appreciate all that I do for them, but my world is not shaken. My First Love loved me even during the times when I did not appreciate Him at all.
When I get to the end of my life, the life I worked so hard to create will come to an end. But the love story between me and Jesus will only have just begun. He is my first love, He will be my last love, and He is everything in between to me. The hurts and disappointments this life brings is only a speck in eternity. The love and fulfillment that Jesus gives me is so great that it consumes and overtakes any pain caused to me.
If my parents didn’t give me the love I deserved or needed, that’s okay. Jesus’s love fulfills me so much that I don’t even long for what I didn’t get. If my spouse wasn’t everything I needed, that’s okay. I am constantly receiving a perfect love that replaces what is missing. If friends or children aren’t giving back what I’ve invested into them, that’s okay. Jesus gives me way more than I could ever give back to Him, and it sustains me.
1 John 4:19
We love Him, because He first loved us.
Jesus loved me first. When I didn’t know how to love, when I didn’t want His love, and when I made a mess of what I thought love was. He loved me. Because of that, I will forever love Him and desire Him above every other relationship here on earth. Jesus is my First Love.
Jesus, thank You for loving me in a way that no one else ever has. Your love has changed my life and You are my ultimate example for how to love in every relationship You have placed me in. Thank You for helping me remember that my love with You is more important than what others have or have not given me. Our relationship will carry on throughout eternity and that’s what’s most important in my life and my loved ones’ lives. I told You when I was a child that I love You and I’m telling You now, I love You, Jesus.