No tags yet.
We are raising our kids in a world today that gives us many conflicting messages on what is good for our kids and what is not. Some experts say we shouldn’t tell our kids no, some say we need to give them as much personal space as they need. Others tell us how we can punish, discipline, and guide them. However, usually this advice changes from generation to generation. If it’s such good advice, why does it always change to appease the condition of the current society it is advising?
I believe that God’s Word should be our compass for direction in every area of our lives. God never changes His mind, and His ways have proven true for centuries upon centuries. The principles in the Bible don’t change to cater to a particular culture, but its amazing guidance transcends cultural barriers, generational barriers, and educational barriers. Although I learn much from respected Christian leaders, I always want to confer with the Bible to make sure my parenting ideas are in line with my Creator’s ideas.
After saying all of that, I now have a confession to make. Please don’t judge me. My confession is that I really don’t like to discipline my children. (*Gasp!) Now, I didn’t say that I don’t discipline my children, but honestly I really don’t like it when I have to. I want to get along with my children, I don’t want my children to be mad at me, and sometimes I just want them to straighten up without me taking the time to sit down with them and address their behavior!
Believe it or not, sometimes my children can be disrespectful toward me. They have talked back to me more than once and said things so rude that it stopped me in my tracks. I look around at society and see a lot of the same things going on with other families. I see it as an understood norm that kids and teenagers will talk rudely to their families and it just comes with the territory. I see this on almost every TV family show and I see it regularly in my community.
So now when my children talk rudely to me or storm off when I talk to them, I begin to think: “Well, this is how kids in America act today – I probably shouldn’t make a big deal out of it.” Do I like it? No. But, I don’t want to be an over the top mom. As I struggled with how much importance I should put on my kids disrespecting me, I came across some interesting verses in the Bible in Micah 7.
The writer is talking about what a horrible time it is to be alive! He describes ultimate misery as nothing can satisfy his hunger. In verse 2, he says:
The godly people have all disappeared; not one honest person is left on the earth. They are all murderers, setting traps even for their own brothers.
He talks about people who scheme to get what they want, and judges and leaders accepting bribes and twisting justice. In verse 5, he says that you can’t trust anyone at this time, not even your wife! Man, what a horrible group of people! What a horrible place to live! How much worse could it get?
Micah 7:6
For the son despises [dishonors] the father. The daughter defies (rises up against) her mother. The daughter in law defies her mother in law. Your enemies are members in your own household!
As the Bible is describing a group of severely ungodly people, it groups sons and daughters that are dishonoring to their parents right in there with them. This lets me know that when my children disrespect me, it is a big deal! Now, does this mean I declare war every time I am dishonored by my child? No. But, it does mean that if I am going to raise godly kids I cannot just ignore disrespect from my children. I must address the behavior by letting them know that it is not okay, we expect better from them, they need to apologize, and if necessary face consequences.
Father, thank You so much for pointing out to me what an ungodly group of people looks like. I know You want so much more for my children than for them to be put into a group like this. I repent for when I have ignored dishonoring behavior from my children, and I pray that You give me wisdom to address defiance and disrespect in a way that helps them grow into all that You have planned for them.